On a late summer night about four or five months ago, I headed over to my aunt’s house to pick up a tailored-made suit I had already measured for at her friend’s shop few weeks earlier. My aunt was not there, but my recently engaged cousin, Sarah, was there babysitting the dogs.
So I ended up hanging out with her for the evening, drinking wine and just kicking back in the backyard. When I asked her to go grab the suit so I can try it on, she asked me if it was for a job interview or a soccer trip, and when I told her it was for a wedding, it took her 0.238 seconds to ask me the inevitable question: who is going to be your date?
“No idea, I may go solo”
“Umm, why?”
“Don’t feel like taking anyone”
After a lengthy, relaxing conversation with her, I was informed (more like lectured) about the amount of pressure females face in the time leading into a relative/friend’s wedding if they are dateless, and that pressure, apparently , triples and quadruples on the days leading up to February 14th, of every calendar year.
Hmmm, interesting. I have always believed that men and women are wired completely differently. When things happen with a girl or a lady we may be interested in one way or another, we always try to explain and analyze things from how we see/perceive them. From our vantage point; a man’s vantage point!
Which leads me to my main point: While it is quite established that women “care” –for the lack of a better term—about their social status and the perception of their love lives when we’re heading towards the midpoint of February, men usually invest equal amount of thought into figuring out if they should or should not partake in Valentine’s day. What we all usually fail to see is, whatever we’re trying to figure out, we’re analyzing it from a male-DNA stance point, which in most cases, leads you to a very false conclusion. Most guys I know fall into one of those 6 brackets/stages:
Stage 1: “The Jay Z” Bracket
This is mostly for married/engaged men. These are guys that are in a very serious/committed relationships and are on their way to spend the rest of their lives with their significant others. The cats in this bracket usually plan ahead for Valentine’s and they do make the day feel special for their wives/fiancés. Nothing is hidden in this bracket, it goes without saying that they will be spending that day together pending an emergency or an unavoidable business trip. They know what they’re doing and what they’re in.
Stage 2: The “Lamar Odom” Bracket
You met the girl recently. You started a relationship with her already. Something extra special has to be planned because it is usually the first V-Day you’re spending with her. Again, you know who your designated Valentine’s Day companion is, so a gift and a special evening is the LEAST you could do. Unless you’re a student, then make her something to show how special she is to you.
Stage 3: The “George Clooney” Bracket
You’re on the go. You have a girl or two or 9. You have a “flavour of the month” thing going on, best advice is to not commit to anyone/anything on the 14th! Committing to anything on this day usually leads to a misled date.
Stage 4: The “Eric Murphy” Bracket
A combination of the Odom/Clooney brackets in a way. You’re single. Enjoying life and having fun on the regular, but there is this one girl that you are pursuing that stands out from all the other ladies you are talking/hanging/chilling/going out with. Things may be great with her; things may be not be so great with her; you are not a “couple” yet. You could be close to being one, or far from it, but you are not going to be doing anything extra special on V-Day unless it’s with her. Otherwise, you will treat it like just any other day. (Writer’s note: I am trapped deep in this bracket, and trust me, it’s not fun! Don’t believe the hype).
Stage 5: The “Chris Brown” Bracket
You just broke up with a longtime girlfriend. You feel out of sorts and confused. Contacting or spending this day with the ex rarely ever leads to a good ending. The best way to celebrate Saint Valentine’s evening is partying out in the city with few friends and a cocktail or two. Interestingly enough, I find most single parents fall in this bracket.
Stage 6: The “Snookie” Bracket
Saying you are single is an understatement. You’re a mess as far as your love life goes. You have no idea what you want. You may have a lot of options on the go, you may have none. You could be sexually confused. You could be asexual; you be suffering from Tigeritis and can’t stand commitment. All out-worldly and insane possibilities are in play when you are in the Snookie bracket.
Either way just live it up, be safe about it, and remember: if it ain’t fun, don’t do it.
Keep smiling and God bless,
Nas
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